Creating Effective Boundaries Without Backlash
The core focus of this discussion is the paramount importance of establishing workplace boundaries without incurring negative repercussions. In our intricate workplaces, it is essential to recognize that while setting boundaries may initially invite skepticism, it ultimately fosters a culture of respect and efficiency. We delve into the nuances of how individuals can articulate their limitations, allowing for a balance that not only prioritizes personal well-being but also enhances team dynamics.
By engaging in this dialogue, we aim to illuminate the complexities of emotional intelligence in navigating both personal and collective boundaries. Join us as we explore practical strategies for creating an environment where boundaries are not merely respected but are integral to fostering a healthy organizational culture. The intricate interplay of workplace boundaries is a focal point of our latest podcast episode, wherein Syya and Ben engage in a thorough examination of how individuals can assert their limits without incurring backlash. They posit that the establishment of boundaries is not merely a personal endeavor, but a collective necessity that can significantly enhance workplace dynamics. T
he conversation is steeped in the acknowledgment that the modern work environment often presents challenges that compel individuals to prioritize the needs of their organization over their own welfare. However, they emphasize that personal boundaries should not be viewed through the lens of negativity or inadequacy; rather, they are essential for sustainable performance and mental health.
Ultimately, they call upon listeners to embrace the practice of boundary-setting as a means of fostering a healthier work culture. By prioritizing open communication and mutual respect, organizations can create an environment where individuals feel valued and empowered to express their needs without fear of repercussion. This not only enhances individual satisfaction but also propels the organization towards greater collective success, as teams become more cohesive and resilient in the face of challenges.
Takeaways:
- The quintessential element that influences both business and personal dynamics is undeniably the human factor.
- Establishing workplace boundaries is a critical skill that fosters a positive organizational culture.
- Navigating interpersonal dynamics requires recognizing and respecting the boundaries set by others.
- Effective communication hinges on the ability to articulate one's limits while maintaining professional relationships.
- A successful team thrives when boundaries are collaboratively understood and respected by all members involved.
- The interaction between individual boundaries and team dynamics ultimately shapes the overall workplace environment.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Kinko's
- YourBrandMarketing.com
- Billion BrilliantBeammedia.com
Transcript
If there's one thing we've learned about business and life is that people are the X factor.
Speaker A:They constantly surprise us, both in amazing ways and not so much.
Speaker A:We're Ben and Sia, and welcome to the Gnaw this Business Bites podcast.
Speaker A:This show is all about real life, things we all deal with every day, how they relate to business, and how to make some sense out of our daily chaos.
Speaker A:Welcome to the show.
Speaker B:Foreign.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode of Non this Business Bites.
Speaker A:I'm Ben and this is Sia.
Speaker A:And this week we're going to talk about workplace boundaries without the backlash.
Speaker A:You know, we need to be able to create situations where we can create our boundaries when we can say, hey, listen, I just don't have the bandwidth for that right now.
Speaker A:I can't do this, I can't do the other thing.
Speaker A:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker A:Without all of a sudden looking at somebody that's always negative, somebody who's not a team player, somebody who's not a go getter, somebody that's not not thinking of the organization above themselves, etc.
Speaker A:Etc.
Speaker A:Etc.
Speaker A:You know, there are ways of doing this and there are ways of sitting there going, you know what?
Speaker A:I. I'm a team player.
Speaker A:I'm a go getter.
Speaker A:I want the next position, but however, we need to talk about it in these.
Speaker A:In these terms and under these circumstances, because it's got to be something that's not only good for me, but it's got to be something that's good for we.
Speaker A:And it's all about positioning.
Speaker A:So, Sia, let's nod this.
Speaker B:Oh, I know we've talked about setting boundaries or saying no before.
Speaker B:So the interesting thing is that it's.
Speaker B:It's comes hand in hand, right?
Speaker B:Because it's not necessarily a no per se.
Speaker B:It's just I'm putting those like, you know that bowling alley gutter ball thingy?
Speaker B:So you don't gutter ball it all the time.
Speaker B:You're just putting like, bumpers into things so you kind of keep you focused and whatnot.
Speaker B:I think boundaries, setting boundaries is probably one of the hardest skills to develop as an adult.
Speaker B:I think there is opportunity for people, as they develop in their careers for leadership to identify and help create and help support those boundaries that are set for the team.
Speaker B:I think there's.
Speaker B:I think all of those types of gestures is a great goodwill gesture for the company.
Speaker B:So therefore, you actually start breeding a good company culture where there's.
Speaker B:It's almost like every now takes pride of in the fact that everyone knows what the lanes are.
Speaker B:What I. I think that's in the.
Speaker B:In the happy unicorn way of describing boundaries and healthy boundaries is set.
Speaker B:That's the.
Speaker B:See a happy definition.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The pragmatic.
Speaker B:See it comes.
Speaker B:Is coming out.
Speaker B:Okay, here we go.
Speaker B:Ready?
Speaker A:There we go.
Speaker B:I gave you some unicorn.
Speaker B:Let me give you some, like, realities, which is.
Speaker B:Boundaries have to be understood as an internal mechanism of which you have for yourself.
Speaker B:It may or may not be a boundary that other people's will necessarily follow.
Speaker B:So how do you react knowing that there might be others who don't give up two poops about your boundaries.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I think it's a. I think this discussion on boundaries is almost like a How do you react versus how do you create your boundary?
Speaker B:Because absolutely.
Speaker B:Heaven knows I know how to.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:You want me to create some boundaries?
Speaker B:I'm good at creating boundaries.
Speaker B:Like, I'll just.
Speaker B:I just shut everyone down.
Speaker B:Do you're out deuces.
Speaker B:The question is.
Speaker B:Is, okay, how do you react to other people's boundaries?
Speaker B:And I think that's the most critical part because I think that shows more emotional eq.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Emotional intelligence.
Speaker B:To recognize you're reacting to someone else's based on the information they're feeding you.
Speaker B:They're telling you what their boundaries are.
Speaker B:So then it's up to you to decide how you want to navigate it with honoring your boundaries.
Speaker B:You're not giving away your boundaries.
Speaker B:You're just.
Speaker B:How do I navigate my bumpers and your bumpers?
Speaker B:It's almost like, oh, what's that?
Speaker B:Car.
Speaker B:Bumper cars.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:So our boundaries are our bumper cars, and we're still having fun.
Speaker B:Some intentionally running at each other.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:And others just having fun driving around in circles and trying to spin out and try to drift, which we never.
Speaker A:We never.
Speaker B:You would drift to someone kind of like, you know, what's that called?
Speaker B:The car pit maneuver.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:It's interesting because I'm a big believer of yes and or yes, however.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:You know, I'm a big believer.
Speaker A:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker A:We can do that.
Speaker A:You bet.
Speaker A:Now, what are we willing to give up in order to make that happen?
Speaker A:100 And, you know, it's amazing to do this before I complete.
Speaker A:That said, I got a story that's just sitting in the back of my mind.
Speaker A:It was right.
Speaker A:Right about the time my.
Speaker A:My wife and I were married.
Speaker A:I was working for Kinko's corporate at the time, and we had this huge job that was running multiple nights.
Speaker A:And because they.
Speaker A:They run the big jobs at night.
Speaker A:And you know, before I went, before I left, I talked to the night crew supervisor.
Speaker A:I let them know what it is.
Speaker A:I gave them instructions.
Speaker A:This, that there.
Speaker A:Well, three nights in a row the operator calls me at like 2:30, 3:00 clock in the morning with some dumb question, just some, like if all they had to do was read the instructions and they would have the answer.
Speaker A:On the third night, my wife picks up the phone and goes, he is not a brain surgeon, figure it out for yourself.
Speaker A:And hung up on him.
Speaker B:I love your wife.
Speaker A:It led to some very serious conversations over the next week with the team about boundaries, about systems, about process, about figuring stuff out.
Speaker A:You know, the thing is, is, you know, you got in at 10 o' clock at night.
Speaker A:The first thing you need to do is you need to read the docket and make sure you don't understand as you understand everything.
Speaker A:If you don't, you can call Ben up to 11, like if it's seriously wrong, if something is, you know, a major flag, you can call him up to 11.
Speaker A:Somebody would have had to have died before you call me at 2:30 in the morning again.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And these are the answers.
Speaker A:Yes and, or yes, however.
Speaker A:Yes, you can call me.
Speaker A:However, here are the stipulations that go with it.
Speaker A:Yes, I'm willing to take over that project.
Speaker A:However, do we have the, do we have the exec.
Speaker A:Do we have the executive buy in, in this project?
Speaker A:Do we have, do we have the budget?
Speaker A:What is the timeline reasonable?
Speaker A:Do we have the technical team ready, ready to support this?
Speaker A:Are the other sales people ready to move forward with this project or are they going to died up in another project?
Speaker A:Yes, however.
Speaker A:Yes, and you need to be able to set yourself up for success while you're setting people there for success.
Speaker A:And if all of a sudden that adding that one program is going to be the piece of straw that breaks the camel's back, you need to say yes, absolutely, we can do this.
Speaker A:What are the projects we can put on hold or we can give to somebody else in order for me to be able to focus on this.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I think that's where, excuse me, we create our boundaries.
Speaker A:And that's doing in a professional way.
Speaker A:It's just say, look, you can have the moon, but you can't have the stars to go with it.
Speaker A:You know, if you want the moon, the stars and the universe to collide all at the same time, it's just not going to happen.
Speaker A:Yeah, there's, there's only so much an individual person or an Individual team can do what's your priorities?
Speaker A:And I understand these are your priorities, but the vice president told me that these are his priorities.
Speaker A:Are you, can you go talk to him directly and just find out which one is the priority?
Speaker A:I'll go whichever way you guys want.
Speaker A:But you guys figure out amongst the two of you which project is the bigger priority at the moment.
Speaker B:You know what's funny about that is it's interesting you mentioned because when you don't have your own boundaries set right within yourself, it's amazing how I hate the word contagious.
Speaker B:It is like how you spread your lack of knowing your own limitations, then you start thrusting it upon others.
Speaker B:And that's where I think a lot of workaholics have a negative impact on a team because whereas a team that might have been like cohesive, maybe communicate very clearly about, hey, here's what we realistically as humans can do and function.
Speaker B:And I, and I, that's a struggle because there's a lot of people who are work insecure.
Speaker B:And I think, I know I 100 my entire career as a sales rep I was work insecure because I pretty much assumed I had a 90 day contract.
Speaker B:Even though I salaried.
Speaker B:I pretty much freaking assumed the first day of the quarter was the first day of me walking towards my exit, you know, and you never know until the next whoop, I made it.
Speaker B:You know, whoops, I made it.
Speaker A:And I think that Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.
Speaker A:Do you know that reference going, oh yeah.
Speaker B:Oh man, I believe every person that wants to go into sales, I don't care.
Speaker B:Glenn Gary, Glenn Roth, I think is 42 years old now that movie easily it or not 40.
Speaker B:Maybe 40.
Speaker B:Wait, what year is it?
Speaker A:It's about, it's about 40 years old.
Speaker B:35, 40.
Speaker B:35, 30.
Speaker B:30, 30.
Speaker B:It's 30.
Speaker B:Oh, 30.
Speaker A:No, it's longer than 30.
Speaker A:Doesn't matter.
Speaker B:Glenn Gary in 80s or 90s?
Speaker B:I thought it was 90s.
Speaker A:That's 80s.
Speaker A:It's an 80s movie.
Speaker B:For sure.
Speaker B:80S.
Speaker A:For sure.
Speaker A:80S movie.
Speaker B:At any rate, you know what I was about to say?
Speaker B:Yeah, it feels like yesterday.
Speaker B:Yeah, no, let's not talk about that.
Speaker B:But yeah, I think, you know, again, how you react to boundaries being set for yourself and how you react to other people's I think is going to be that critical key of ensuring that you yourself are keeping yourself whole.
Speaker B:And I love the way you say it.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And right.
Speaker B:And yes.
Speaker B:You know, however, however, however, I also think it's your team has to consciously say that As a group, it can't just be you.
Speaker B:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:Like, it's got to be something where as a leader, you facilitate.
Speaker B:Everyone should be comfortable saying yes and, or yes, however, versus just one person.
Speaker B:But at the same time, I think we had a previous episode.
Speaker B:Little things count in large amounts.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So it can be.
Speaker B:You start the trend within your own team to say yes, yes, you know, however.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I keep seeing why in my head.
Speaker A:But it's, but it's also having, it's also having leadership that backs you up.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:It's also having leadership that doesn't go off and promise the moon to a customer without checking with you first and then, you know, put you on the hook for, for, for making that happen.
Speaker A:And I, you know, I look at sales teams, I look at ops teams, I look at marketing teams.
Speaker A:Everybody is sitting there going.
Speaker A:He says, well, says, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can make that work.
Speaker A:We can make that happen.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't want to tick off a customer.
Speaker A:Hey, we'll just happen.
Speaker A:And then somebody's left holding the bag.
Speaker A:And it's usually not the person who made the promise to, you know, to, to actually physically make that thing happen.
Speaker A:And, you know, we would be far better off as organizations if leadership said, you know what?
Speaker A:I think we can do that.
Speaker A:Let me check with the team, find out what, what's possible and what we're capable of and make sure we can meet that deadline.
Speaker A:Because I don't want to disappoint you and let me get back to you later this afternoon.
Speaker A:Does that work?
Speaker A:And that's setting up expectations.
Speaker A:That's expectations and that's accountability.
Speaker A:Because all of a sudden your team, you said you're, you're involving your team and say, look, here's the problem.
Speaker A:You know, this is what they'd like.
Speaker A:It says, okay, well, we could do it this way or this way.
Speaker A:This week's going to take $10,000 hours.
Speaker A:This way is going to take 5,000 hours.
Speaker A:We can do the $5,000 one.
Speaker A:But here, the, here are the problems with doing it the 5,000 hour way.
Speaker A:Here's what they get for the 10,000 an hour away.
Speaker A:Here's where the, you know, things, here's what the outcomes are going to be.
Speaker A:You decide with the client.
Speaker A:We'll go either way.
Speaker A:But we can't give you the 10,000 hour, you know, project in 5,000 hours.
Speaker A:It's just not, it's just not possible to do.
Speaker A:So then you go back to the customer and say, look, here are two options.
Speaker A:Here's what we can do.
Speaker A:Here's what we can do for you by December 31st.
Speaker A:Does that work for you?
Speaker A:Does that give you enough to be able.
Speaker A:That we can, we can move the rest of it into.
Speaker A:Into Q1 of the next year?
Speaker A:And that's.
Speaker A:That's client management, that's project management, that's people management.
Speaker A:And I think that we need to sit there and look at it and say, instead of just saying yes and then running around with their heads trying to figure out how to get stuff done, we sit there and say, do we have, you know, for me it was the printers on board.
Speaker A:Do.
Speaker A:Do we have the, the print?
Speaker A:Do we have the printers on board?
Speaker A:Do we have the paper people on board?
Speaker A:Do we have the envelope manufacturers on board?
Speaker A:Do we have the graphic designers?
Speaker A:Do we have the mailhouse on board?
Speaker A:Do we have the logistics in place?
Speaker A:We've got about eight or 10 different people that all have to be able to say yes before we can make a deadline.
Speaker A:And for me to say yes and then push those 10 people to be able to pull off a miracle, you know, within a strict budget, how often are they going to do it before they say no?
Speaker B:You're totally reminding me of, like, I'm so, like, I left corporate surfer reason.
Speaker B:Why are you re.
Speaker B:Traumatizing me with these conversations?
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B: nny, I left corporate back in: Speaker B:And I befriended my clients since then, and it was like, we were always, like, friendly, you know, my clients and I, we just talk and whatever because, you know, I, I've never had a Persona of a salesperson.
Speaker B:How are you doing?
Speaker B:You know I couldn't do that, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Although I just did so.
Speaker B:But I didn't do it well, clearly.
Speaker B:Anyway, one of the really interesting feedbacks I got from one conversation.
Speaker B:So this is anecdotal, I'm not saying it's, you know, stereotypical, but we were just chatting and I said, you know what.
Speaker B:What makes I go.
Speaker B:It was like one of those random thought, thought questions.
Speaker B:And I was just asking.
Speaker B:I said, you know, we always had a good working relationship.
Speaker B:You know, you always told me when I, you know, my screwing up and bad.
Speaker B:I mean, there are days when like, like, they're like, dude, I might have to fire your company.
Speaker B:Like bad, bad type conversations.
Speaker B:And then we also had really great conversations on things.
Speaker B:And I just said, hey, can I ask you truthfully, like, could I have performed better as a sales rep?
Speaker B:What was it, you know, what was about a relationship that we're sitting here five years on after I've left the company, and.
Speaker B:And we're still talking, we're still friendly and all that stuff, right?
Speaker B:And their answer, I thought, was really enlighten a.
Speaker B:You're real.
Speaker B:You're authentic.
Speaker B:You know, you, you, You.
Speaker B:We knew.
Speaker B:If we knew we overstepped.
Speaker B:We're like children.
Speaker B:We're always gonna be pushing you guys for whatever we can, but when we pushed it, you.
Speaker B:You stopped.
Speaker B:Like, you.
Speaker B:Literally.
Speaker B:And they're like.
Speaker B:And you.
Speaker B:They're like, you don't have a good poker face.
Speaker B:I'm like, thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:It's called rbf.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But they.
Speaker B:What they said, which resonates with me, which is whether the situation was good or bad, we were always consistent with each other's communications to say, they're mad at us and here's the list.
Speaker B:And then I would reply back with the list, and I would try to address each one.
Speaker B:And quite frankly, some of them were unreasonable.
Speaker B:And I remember pushing back, saying, hey, look, you're telling us we're failing XYZ here.
Speaker B:That's not even our project.
Speaker B:That's not even our responsibility.
Speaker B:How are we failing this?
Speaker B:Oh, well, you guys are like the.
Speaker B:In, like, supporting of this.
Speaker B:I go, but we were not part of that installation.
Speaker B:So if that particular project is failing, failing, why am I responsible?
Speaker B:We weren't even part of it, right?
Speaker B:So I go.
Speaker B:And I used to say, don't.
Speaker B:Don't be unfair to us, right?
Speaker B:We're being fair.
Speaker B:We're being fair to you.
Speaker B:And then vice versa.
Speaker B:And we would have those conversations.
Speaker B:And so, yeah, I just, like, I think with.
Speaker B:With.
Speaker B:What we're talking about here is.
Speaker B:Is if we are authentic to who we are in those communications and we set those boundaries with each other to say, hey, you're mad at the situation.
Speaker B:Don't be mad.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:That was the other thing.
Speaker B:When we were mad at the situation and the voices would be raised, okay, I was never an angel in that voices would get raised.
Speaker B:We always understood the situation was why we're raising.
Speaker B:It wasn't because we were disrespecting each other.
Speaker B:It was, we're frustrated with the situation.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then we'd look at each other.
Speaker B:I remember one specifically.
Speaker B:I'm like, hey, I'm trying to help you here.
Speaker B:Come back.
Speaker B:And it was de escalate.
Speaker B:And we always made that boundary very clear, if that makes sense.
Speaker B:So, yeah, anyway, it was just something that just remind me of.
Speaker B:We set boundaries, and you have to set your boundaries, especially for tense situations, because it brings it back into focus again.
Speaker B:So I know I ran long, but you know what?
Speaker A:I think that's a great place to leave it because I think that you've.
Speaker A:You summarized it enough to sit there and say, we need to have open and honest conversations.
Speaker A:We need to trust each other.
Speaker A:We need to rely on each other, and we need to let people know what's gone right, what hasn't gone right, and how we can fix it.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So let's.
Speaker A:Let's leave it there.
Speaker A:I'm Ben.
Speaker B:I'm Sia.
Speaker A:And we'll see you soon.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:Thanks for listening to another episode of not on this Business Fights.
Speaker B:If you liked what you heard, we most humbly ask that you like share and hit that subscribe button.
Speaker B:If you want to communicate more effectively within your organization, contact Ben at YourBrandMarketing.com or me@Billion BrilliantBeammedia.com we can help you build your community, brand awareness and personality through digital content and podcasting.
Speaker B:We cannot wait to hear from you.
Speaker B:So see you next week for another episode of not on this Business Fights.
