Self-Awareness, True Allies, and the Glass You’re Holding
"Are you getting what you want?" - Ben Baker
Are you looking at life with a half-empty, half-full, or refillable mindset? On this episode of Gnaw On This, 🇨🇦 Ben Baker🎙️ and Syya Yasotornrat explore how your perspective shapes your relationships, and why self-awareness is key to navigating the people around you.
Key takeaways include:
* Using self-awareness to improve communication and understanding
* Identifying allies who stick by you through tough times
* How ignoring negative behavior can cost you connections
* The power of reflection for personal growth
* Why your mindset, half-empty, half-full, or refillable, affects every interaction
#SelfAwareness #Relationships #TrueAllies #PersonalGrowth #CommunicationSkills #Mindset #GnawOnThis
Learn more about Ben Baker at IamBenBaker.com
Chat it up with Syya and the team at BrilliantBeamMedia.com
Transcript
If there's one thing we've learned about business and life is that people are the X
factor.
2
:They constantly surprise us both in amazing ways and not so much.
3
:We're Ben and Sia and welcome to the Nod On This Business Bites podcast.
4
:This show is all about real life things we all deal with every day, how they relate to
business and how to make some sense out of our daily chaos.
5
:Welcome to the show.
6
:And welcome back to another episode of non this business bites.
7
:I'm Ben and this is Sia.
8
:Now here's something many people probably have never thought of.
9
:You've heard of is your glass half full or half empty, right?
10
:We've all heard that expression.
11
:I truly believe it's refillable.
12
:I truly believe the glass isn't half full.
13
:It's not half empty.
14
:It's refillable.
15
:Now, certain people believe there's a hole in the bottom of the glass.
16
:It's constantly leaking out.
17
:It's somebody else's fault.
18
:Guess what?
19
:Get some putty, plug it up, refill the glass and live your life.
20
:Because if we sit there and constantly worry if we got a half full glass or half empty
glass and we can't do anything about it either way, that's a problem.
21
:We have the ability to make changes.
22
:We have the ability to augment our lives, to change our lives, to change our situations.
23
:And that's what a refillable glass is all about.
24
:So Sia, let's gnaw on this.
25
:What an interesting perspective.
26
:So I am a pragmatic person in general, I lean towards the optimism side of things.
27
:So, you know, with the original, you know, saying, you know, class empty half full, I
always believe in things of being full as in full of opportunity, full of positivity.
28
:And I love the idea of being refillable because I love the idea of abundance.
29
:where you can always be topped off, right?
30
:I remember a friend of mine whose grandmother's cooking advice was, it never hurts to add
a little extra pinch of whatever it is.
31
:And in that way, it's almost like the refillable, it never hurts to top things off.
32
:Heck, everyone knows like, know, night before, top it off, right?
33
:It's right.
34
:And I think that idea of...
35
:Even if it starts to deplete a little because you know life ain't roses all the time and
there's gonna be times where like literally like for me recently Like I don't I had a he's
36
:a non sequitur.
37
:I had a realization been Fall is my favorite season But I haven't been able to really
celebrate Halloween because I've been sick every Halloween and someone goes, you know that
38
:seasonal allergies and all that stuff and i'm like
39
:And I was like, wait a second.
40
:I never knew that before.
41
:Right.
42
:And, and, and just having that low energy and I was feeling down, not productive and life
sucks, but I'm like, wait a second.
43
:This is my favorite time of the year.
44
:The season's changing.
45
:I love the cooling down of all that things.
46
:So in a way it's almost like when you're down and you're, you're seeing this half empty
concept, it is sometimes tough to think and remember that it's always refillable.
47
:You know, it's hard, man.
48
:It's hard and easy to say.
49
:Like you and I keep talking about this easier said than done, Ben.
50
:So tell me goose, because you saw me.
51
:I was down and out the last few weeks here.
52
:So how do you suggest and help someone like me where I'm like, I'm normally a positive
person, but man, I'm dying on the vine right now.
53
:Well, and I think you're like me.
54
:I mean, I get a cold in the fall.
55
:I do.
56
:get a cold in the fall.
57
:But what I've done is I've started getting, sitting there going, okay, what can I do about
it?
58
:One, I get, I get my allergy shot and now I get, now I get a COVID shot.
59
:No, I do.
60
:I go get an allergy shot and I go get a COVID shot.
61
:I also sit there and start taking more vitamin C and more vitamin B because I know
62
:I am the, I'm the classic guy that wears shorts and sandals way longer than I should.
63
:The temperature drops, gets cooler, it gets wetter around here.
64
:And I'm still wearing shorts and sandals where I probably shouldn't be.
65
:But my brain is, until the actual thing says September 21st and it's actually fall, I'm
going to wear shorts and sandals, but does dammit before that it's summer.
66
:And you know, we get wet September's that's reality around.
67
:So I do what it takes for me to set myself up for success.
68
:I know that every year I get a cold.
69
:I know that every year I feel lousy.
70
:So I sit there and say, okay, what can I do to boost my immunity three, four, five weeks
earlier to make sure that at least it gives me the better chance for success?
71
:And I think we need to start looking at that and says, what do we need to do to be
successful?
72
:whether it's physically, whether it's mentally, whether it's whatever, and sit there and
say, okay, what else can I do to change the situation that I'm in?
73
:Because the world does not do stuff to you.
74
:The world is what the world is.
75
:The world is going to do what the world is gonna do.
76
:It's how you react to it.
77
:It's how you sit there and say, woe is me, the world is spinning out of control, there's
nothing I can do, I'm gonna go crawl under the blankets.
78
:And I'm going to wait for the world to be better.
79
:Or you can sit there and say, yeah, the world's gone to hell in a hand basket, but I'm
still okay.
80
:And the people around me are still okay.
81
:And I can sit there and be that positive voice in a sea of chaos and move, you know, help
move people forward around me.
82
:And those are your choices.
83
:You know, there's lots of choices, you know, one way or the other in terms of that
dichotomy, but you know, to take it to different extremes.
84
:We as individuals need to control our own destiny.
85
:We need to sit there and say, okay, we know that we have a cold every year in September or
October, fine, what can I do?
86
:Go to my doctor, what can I do to oh mitigate this on a yearly basis, whether it's
Claritin, whether it's vitamin B shots, whether it's whatever.
87
:We know that this time of year at the office is hell on wheels.
88
:because it's budget season, it's this season, it's whatever, and we know we're extremely
busy.
89
:Okay, what can we do in the slow months in August and July instead of just sitting there
coasting to pre-do some work to be able to make sure that when September, October,
90
:November rolls around and we are hell on wheels, that we're less hell on wheels because
we've already done a lot of the pre-work to put ourselves in place.
91
:So it's looking at things going,
92
:beyond the immediate and sit there and say, okay, what's happening over the next three,
six, nine, 12, 18, 36 months?
93
:And how can we prepare ourselves for success?
94
:And very few people do that.
95
:Most people just live in the moment.
96
:Most people just, as the stuff hits the fan, they deal with it either positively or
negatively.
97
:There's very few people that sit there and go, you know what?
98
:Sooner later,
99
:the stuff's gonna hit the fan.
100
:I know it's gonna hit the fan.
101
:What can I do to put myself in a position that when it does, I'm in better position?
102
:Hmm.
103
:You know, it's funny, uh, for those that are emotionally oriented, how would you suggest
people that like are, uh, react emotionally to things?
104
:there any techniques or advisement you would offer to that?
105
:Because you know, me, I mean, again, I think I feel like I'm getting older now, but the
younger me, if something wasn't going right, I would just blow up.
106
:It'd be like earth stop shattering.
107
:Now it's kind of like.
108
:I'm more subdued.
109
:get more meditative if that makes sense.
110
:how would you suggest for those that are going through it that are more emotionally, how
would you suggest they get themselves in the right place, headspace, etc.?
111
:I think we all need to go through it a few times before we sit there and say, how's that
working for you?
112
:I mean, when I was 20 years old, I knew everything.
113
:You couldn't tell me anything.
114
:I knew all the answers.
115
:I was right all the time.
116
:If somebody did something that I didn't like, I blew up about it.
117
:And I got angry a lot.
118
:They're typical angry young man, whatever it was what it is.
119
:know, sooner or later, somebody actually came up to me and said, how's that working for
you?
120
:Are you getting what you want?
121
:Or are you getting people ignoring you?
122
:Are you getting people that sit there and say, you know what?
123
:We don't want to be around Ben when he's like this.
124
:So we're just going to ignore him.
125
:We're just going to put him in a corner and ignore him while he's like this and we'll wait
for the, for the storm to blow over.
126
:Those are the people that are your allies and those are the people that are your friends.
127
:And they're only going to put up with this for so long.
128
:How do you say they're allies for until they're not?
129
:And they're not until they're not so The more we can sit there and a lot of this comes
with age a lot of this comes with the fact that Yeah, you've been down that hole and you
130
:found your way out of it enough times You know or you figured out a way to to make sure
that you put enough water in the hole that you can float your way to the surface You know,
131
:it's it's it's a matter of looking at things and sit there and say how do it how do you
help people through this?
132
:A lot of times it's just by listening.
133
:A lot of times it's just by listening to sit there and say, okay, and what is that doing
for you?
134
:And how is this working out for you?
135
:And is there a better way we could handle this that's gonna be more effective and better
for you in the long run?
136
:And a lot of that comes down to coaching.
137
:And you can't do that unless you have trust.
138
:Unless this person is willing to listen to you, understand and value you, treat you like a
coach and enable you to have those honest and open conversations.
139
:You're to go nowhere with those conversations.
140
:So until you have a level of trust with these individuals, you can't do anything to help
them.
141
:All you can do is sit there going, you know what?
142
:Yeah, I've been there.
143
:I get that.
144
:And you got to let them come to you.
145
:It's, it's, it's, it's, it's almost like that.
146
:You know, that to use a horrible expression, that stray dog that's been beaten enough
times.
147
:You know, if you constantly go up to them, they're gonna constantly feel threatened.
148
:If you leave them be and you let them come to you, they can become your best friend.
149
:If you beat a dog, I shall beat you.
150
:I beat people who beat dogs.
151
:I beat people who beat dogs and I don't care.
152
:I don't care what the extenuating circumstances are.
153
:I don't care.
154
:We digress.
155
:We digress.
156
:digress.
157
:Yeah.
158
:I think it's, I think, I think it's this conversation to me is, and I really want to hear
from the audience, you guys, on your perspectives on this, because it's, again, we keep
159
:talking about these concepts, easier said than done.
160
:every single time.
161
:And I feel like so much of it has to do with really truly knowing yourself.
162
:Right?
163
:I mean, you really have to do some self work, whatever it might be.
164
:Do it professionally, do it with a mentorship, do it with your own self, with journaling,
do it with your spouse or partner, like whatever it might be to kind of get yourself and
165
:feel whole.
166
:And everybody's going to be different.
167
:What's going to work for me or what's going to work for Sia may not work for you and vice
versa.
168
:know, so it's about experimentation and sit there and say, okay, this works for me.
169
:I know when I'm, you know, when I'm feeling down, I'm feeling out when I feel that the
world is against me, I feel that glass is either empty or it's getting close to empty.
170
:I need to go for a walk in nature.
171
:Okay, cool.
172
:That works for me.
173
:I sit there and say, go for a walk in nature.
174
:I look out over the ocean.
175
:I realize how big the world is and how small my problems are in comparison.
176
:And my life is much better.
177
:But that works for me.
178
:It doesn't work for everybody.
179
:And guess what?
180
:In Texas, walking out to the ocean's a little tougher.
181
:Don't depress me further than I am.
182
:You know, I totally forgot and I wanted to add before we end this is, you know, don't
forget to ask for that help to replenish that cup.
183
:You know, to literally, you you see it on TV shows, they call each other like bestie.
184
:I need help or, you know, I need girl time.
185
:I need shopping, whatever.
186
:It's like, you may not say I need help, but you could say in other ways where it's like
for me, again, anecdotally is.
187
:C is hungry, and that's usually my friend's cue of like, okay, C needs to get out and get
happy again with food and bounce whatever it is that's going on in this random head.
188
:I think asking for help and knowing if you've been billing your own board of advisors for
yourself, you could reach out to the individuals that you know would be perfect for those
189
:situations.
190
:Right.
191
:Because as you said, not everybody, not everybody's going to get you in any, every
particular case.
192
:You know, some people are just going to tell you to suck it up and move on.
193
:And you know, that might be what you need in certain situations and not exactly what you
need in others.
194
:Right.
195
:Yeah.
196
:And having the person that gives you the swift kick in the butt, you know what?
197
:That's a good person to have in your back pocket, but you're not going to use them in
every situation.
198
:Yeah.
199
:Yeah, I agree.
200
:Again!
201
:So let's take a look at this.
202
:I believe the glass is refillable.
203
:think that, you know, whatever the situation is, unless it's death, nothing is terminal.
204
:You know, we, we, we, we can recover from pretty much everything.
205
:You know, I'm sorry.
206
:I made a mistake.
207
:We need to move forward.
208
:We need to look at this a different way.
209
:There's a lot of phrases to come out of this.
210
:But all of those sit there and say, okay, we need to reset.
211
:Yeah.
212
:And being able to sit there and say, you know what, maybe I need to take some time to
reset is a powerful way of saying, cause I'm not happy with the way things are right now,
213
:but I know things can be better.
214
:It's the, know, taking it from a SIA point of view.
215
:It's the, you know, if anybody hasn't heard this song, play it over and over again, the
jelly roll song, I am not okay.
216
:It is a phenomenal song.
217
:And it tells a great story.
218
:It says, I'm not OK.
219
:You know, I'm not all right, but I know that we're going to be all right.
220
:I am not OK, but I know we're all going to be all right.
221
:And being able to sit there and say, it may not be good at the moment, but we can always
make it better.
222
:I love that.
223
:I love that.
224
:love that.
225
:So everyone in the audience, give us a green applause, you know, emoji if you're on
LinkedIn or hit that like and subscribe button for us.
226
:Cause you know, I think that right there is helping to keep our cup refilled to us going
on on this because you know, Ben, this is, I think it's been such a fun pleasure, but of
227
:course we couldn't exist in
228
:be inspired if it wasn't for our audience.
229
:So, know, audience that's out there.
230
:for those like Yolanda, Raquel, Chris, you guys are always consistently on.
231
:And if not, you guys comment and team replay, like really appreciate you guys.
232
:Cause I don't know, sometimes then, you know, you and I, we've been doing this for so
long.
233
:There are days that like some topics tend to like get more attention than others.
234
:And either way, without the feedback from the audience.
235
:Like we wouldn't be able to refill our cup of not on this.
236
:Right.
237
:So let's leave it there.
238
:Thanks for filling our cup.
239
:Everybody.
240
:I'm Ben and we'll see you soon, but Hey, listen, if you get a second, subscribe, like
whatever you do, hit the button, you know, make sure that you connect with us because we
241
:appreciate it all.
242
:Please
243
:Hey hey hey, thanks for listening to another episode of Not On This, Business Fights.
244
:If you liked what you heard, we most humbly ask that you like, share, and hit that
subscribe button.
245
:If you want to communicate more effectively within your organization, contact ben at
imbenbaker.com or me at brilliantbeammedia.com.
246
:We can help you build your community, brand awareness, and personality through digital
content and podcasting.
247
:We cannot wait to hear from you.
248
:See you next week for another episode
249
:of Nom This!
250
:Business Fights!
