Taking Online Relationships into IRL!

Syya Yasotornrat (: 00:02

If there's one thing we've learned about business and life is that people are the X factor. They constantly surprise us both in amazing ways and not so much. We're Ben and Sia and welcome to the Gnaw On This Business Bytes podcast. This show is all about real life things we all deal with every day, how they relate to business and how to make some sense out of our daily chaos. Welcome to the show.

Syya Yasotornrat (: 00:37

And welcome to another episode of Gnaw On This Business Bytes. I'm Ben and this is Syya. So I wrote an article a few weeks ago and I wanted to get back to it. And it was about the importance of taking online relationships offline. It was probably one of the most popular articles I've had in a while. And it was amazing to go through the comments to sit there and say,

how to hear people's stories of what happens when they took the leap of faith, and it is a leap of faith, to actually jump on a Zoom call, meet somebody for coffee, go to a network event, whatever you do, and actually meet somebody in person that you've only met online. See and I are a perfect example.

I mean, C and I were introduced to somebody through LinkedIn. We bounced each other back and forth, back and forth, but it really wasn't going anywhere twice. I look, let's jump on a Zoom call. And I think that initial Zoom call was about two hours. And we just laughed. You forced it upon me. Forced it upon you, people. I I forced it upon you. I guilted you. It's all right. That's what I Guilted for sure. I guilted you. But.

What it was is it gave us the opportunity to actually get to know each other in a non -asynchronous fashion. It's just, you have to actually sit there and talk back and forth. Actually, you know, listen to each other. Listen to the intonation of somebody's voice to actually look at them in the eye, look at their body language, you know, see what's behind them and not just sit there and crank comments out on a keyboard. You know, I, what I love.

And I absolutely truly love as I go on LinkedIn and I find people I've never met before and I read through some of their comments and I comment on stuff for them. And we go back and forth and we go back and forth and back and forth. And all of a sudden I sit there and go, look, let me connect with this person. Cool. I said, hey, listen, I've enjoyed our conversation. I'd love to get to meet you offline. And 95 out of a hundred of these people say yes to a Zoom call. And it could be 15 to 20 minutes.

Syya Yasotornrat (: 03:00

And some of these people have turned into great clients. Some of them have been great conversations. Some of them become great friends, but you never know where it's going to come from. And if all you're doing, if you're just hiding behind a screen and you're just making offhand comments on somebody's LinkedIn posts, you're never truly ever going to know these people. And I've never done business ever with somebody that I've only met online.

until I actually have a zoom call with somebody until I actually meet somebody in person until I you know actually have some time with them on a one -to -one basis.

They're a distraction in my life. They could be a fun distraction in my life, but that's all they are. And there's really no emotional attachment. So Sia, let's not this. I'm queen of IRL dude. Okay. Look, I, I love connecting with people online. I love the zoom conversations, although truthfully, uh, you know, as my time and as businesses have grown, it's, it's becoming far more limited on my one -on -one times.

Um, but that being said, when you have the opportunity to meet with someone in real life, there is something to be said about the interaction in 3d. I like zoom is zoom you and I've never physically met. No, but we will. But we will. But I imagine it will be just like this. Absolutely. Because we spent enough time together. You got to know each other.

I've made enough, you know fart jokes with you that at this point it's up. Oh, that's you. Yeah, that's But There is other senses, right? So I've mentioned this before and I know it sounds a little odd But there is something to be said. Yes with the zoom we have our visual senses. Okay, that's great We have our audio because we're talking to each other and for those that do a lot of shows and guests on shows for the love of God, please buy a mic I know

Syya Yasotornrat (: 04:59

I actually posted about this and I think I hurt some people's feelings. Sorry. But as someone that edits, I just had to say my piece. Okay. Anyway, that being said is this, when you meet someone in real life, you get to enjoy the other senses. There's touch, right? There's the huggers out there, right? Um, I I'm a hugger and also I'm like a pattern on the arm person or I'll like touch your forearm. I will touch you people. I just do. That's what I do.

I'll pat you on the back or rub your back if you're not a toucher. You need to stay far away from me or just give me the sign. I've seen the other sign, but just give me that. Okay, whatever. Then there is the smell. Yeah. I'm sorry, you guys. Pheromones are a thing, right? I'm not saying don't do it naughty. Do it with good positive human intention, right? Like everyone's got a unique smell to them. Some people have perfumes and colognes and others don't. It doesn't matter.

I'm not saying taste, let's not go down that path. But I will say there is something about enjoying the practice of an activity that includes taste. So meaning have a cup of coffee, have a tea, have a beer, have a wine, have a water, whatever, or eat, right? Breaking bread is important. Enjoying the sensations of maybe a shared food. And there's that component. That's why I love IRL, because you can experience all that simultaneously. And you're just

human, which is what we are ultimately. Well, I come back to this vivid picture and this is going back 30 years ago and I'm sitting in an office with one of the procurement people that I worked with, one of my clients and my boss was on the phone. And what my boss didn't know is this guy was sitting with his feet up on his desk.

And when my boss was talking, he was giving them the clap trap, you know, with his, you know, it just rolling and rolling his eyes. But you never would have known by the tone of his voice, by the tone of his voice, you would have thought that he was listening, that he was attentive, that he believed everything that was being said. But I'll tell you something. If I had been in the room and seen this.

Syya Yasotornrat (: 07:20

This guy had no respect for my boss whatsoever. I had very little respect for my boss, but that's a different story altogether. But you know, it was one of those things that you don't know. You really, you don't know. Body language is an amazing thing that could tell pictures. I mean, as I tell people in Zoom calls, you're only seeing people from the shoulders up. You don't see what they're tapping their toes. You don't see if their knees are nervous. You don't see what they're doing with their hands.

So we miss out on a lot of the visual clues. And when we're face to face, when we have that ability to actually see people and hear people and feel people, it's amazing what happens. I did 67 or 68 keynote addresses during COVID online. If I never do another online keynote again, it will be too soon.

won't do it. I, no, I seriously, I refused to do it. I did it during COVID. You know, I did it to, you know, because that was the only way I had to do it. I refused to do it online because most of the time half the people's monitors were off. You have no idea. You're looking out into this void. You have no idea if people are enjoying it, if people are laughing, if they're, if they're leaning in, if they're leaning back.

If they're making snide comments to their neighbors, if they're clap trapping you, you have absolutely no idea. I love being up on the stage and hear a laugh in the background, or knowing that people are shifting in their seat and going, okay, I've got them, but I don't have them. Wait a second here. Okay, now I gotta make sure I get these people on board. Exactly, where am I going next? And it gives you the ability to have that human interaction with people when you're on stage.

And you can feel the pulse of the audience. You can feel the heartbeat of the audience that you're never going to feel when you're offline. You might as well just pre -record it and send somebody a video because it doesn't matter.

Syya Yasotornrat (: 09:27

And I think you need to sit there and realize that, that it's the humanity that we miss when we're not face to face. And I think that that's what's causing a lot of rifts within organization. It's leading to miscommunication, it's leading to mistrust, it's leading to overinflated egos, it's leading to companies where you have a whole bunch of territorial issues, where people are not talking.

with each other, they're talking at each other, and conversations get misconstrued because memos and texts are said where something should actually have been done in real life. It actually had a face -to -face conversation.

You just remind me of a Jordan and Peele skit where it was like there are two guys like texting each other and they're like, hey man, what are you doing? And the guy like he sends it like, oh, hey, what are you doing? And the other guy receives us. Hey, man, what are you doing? What do you mean I'm doing? And it was just like one's getting progressively angrier and angrier. And the other one's like, oh, my God, man, you're the best friend ever. And it was just it was just hilarious. I need to find that skit.

But it's true. You guys, I'll link it is so pretty damn funny. I love, I love them, but he and peel. That's it. But it's true because how you send a text is not how somebody receives it. Oh no, no. You know, you wonder why you get home at the end of the day and your spouse is furious at you because they've had all day to stew on a text that you said in extremely benign, you know, better.

They misread it. They misunderstood it. And all of a sudden you haven't, you know, you turned your phone off and they've had an entire day to stew about it. You know, think about that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. And could you imagine when they find out and they do communicate with each other?

Syya Yasotornrat (: 11:30

Then it becomes the, okay, we could miscommunicated. And then the person that was angry is like, you just cost me a day of anger. And then you get mad at being mad. Then they're angry all over again. You know, we need to do an episode of just relationships 101. Hey, man. Hey, I think we, I think we could talk about it because in may I will be celebrating 22 years with my partner. Good for you.

I mean, you're, you're right up there. What is, what I said, we've been together over 28 years, 29 years, 29 years. April will be 29 years. There we go. We can talk some smack about relationships. There we go. As long as we don't give any juice out on our, on our, on our spouses. I'm good with that. Oh yeah. No, are you kidding me? No, that would come back to bite me real badly. Real bad. No one hundo. Yeah. We don't want to do that on that note though. We don't want to.

On that note, but on that note, it says, and let's let's shore this up and try to put a bow on this is that what are you people doing? Let's let's take this out of the audience. What are the things that you've learned about people? By having a face to face synchronous conversation with people that you never would have guessed about them just based on your LinkedIn or Facebook or Twitter interactions.

I mean, that would be fascinating to see in the comments. To sit there and say, what are the things you've learned about people that you never would have guessed just based on their social media comments, that when you actually talk to them face to face, what you learned about?

Syya Yasotornrat (: 13:16

Oh yeah. Yeah. I, the stuff that comes out when you meet and face to face just is incomparable to, to, I mean, it's like I said, I think the remote thing, this whole platform that we're even talking on in general, like it's, it was a convenience. Yes. And it's, it is part of our technology and society. So yeah, I get it. But man alive, man, when you're high fiving each other, you know, over a story like, yeah, there's nothing more than that. That moment that you're connected and bonded. Yeah.

But I do appreciate our audience are there in the comments. Every single week they're there in the comments. And I go back and I read the comments and some of them are hysterical. Some of the comments are actually hysterical. I mean, there's insightful stuff for sure, but it's how they respond to what you and I have said and the things that they think about and the places that they take the relation, the conversation based on how they perceive the conversation.

And I find that that's exciting too. So I would love to be able to do this in a big, big room where you are, you and I are up on stage. We've got a full audience in front of us and be able to take the mics out and, and, and have people have that conversation. I think that we should do it. Yeah. Oh, I'm, I am building up to this because something tells me we're going to have some fun. We'll get heckled at. Oh, for sure. It would just, I just want it to be free for all fun for everyone. Respectfully, of course. Yes.

But I think we'll leave it at that. If so, if you want to arrange that, you get it organized, you're in charge and we'll get this up and going. We'll do it. I'm Ben. I'm Syya. We'll see you soon.

Syya Yasotornrat (: 15:01

Hey hey hey, thanks for listening to another episode of Not On This Business Fights. If you liked what you heard, we most humbly ask that you like, share, and hit that subscribe button. If you want to communicate more effectively within your organization, contact Ben at yourbrandmarketing .com or me at brilliantbeammedia .com. We can help you build your community, brand awareness, and personality through digital content and podcasting.

We cannot wait to hear from you. So see you next week for another episode of Gnaw On This Business Bytes.